Finding My Own Track
You know, sometimes you just get stuck. Really stuck. I was in this job, felt like forever. Paid the bills, sure. But man, it was draining the life out of me. Every Monday felt like climbing a mountain made of paperwork.
Then one weekend, I was just channel surfing, trying to switch my brain off. Stumbled onto this old documentary. About racing. About Ayrton Senna. Watched it for a bit. Didn’t think much of it then, but something stuck. This guy, the focus, the absolute dedication. He wasn’t just driving, he was living it, breathing it. Risks and all.
That got me thinking. What was I really doing? Just going through the motions. Safe? Yeah. Comfortable? Kind of. But fulfilling? Not even close. It was like I was wearing this heavy, uncomfortable helmet myself, blocking out everything just to get through the day.
So, I started fiddling around after work. Had this old idea knocking around in my head for ages. A small project, something completely different from my day job. Just for me. Started sketching things out, ordering a few cheap parts online. Felt kinda silly at first.
- Got the basic components.
- Tried putting them together. Failed. A lot.
- Spent nights reading forums, watching tutorials.
- More failures. Things literally smoked once.
My partner thought I was losing it. Maybe I was. Stayed up late, got frustrated, wanted to quit maybe a dozen times. It wasn’t easy. Felt like driving in fog sometimes, no idea where I was going. The comfortable old job suddenly looked pretty good again on those nights.
But I kept pushing. Bit by bit. Small wins. A piece of code worked. A connection held. It wasn’t about making something perfect, not like Senna hitting every apex. It was just about doing it. Pushing my limits, you know?
Now? Well, the project isn’t some world-changing thing. It’s still messy. But it’s mine. And that feeling? Way better than the comfortable numbness I had before. It’s like I finally took off that heavy helmet. Still got a long way to go, lots to learn. But at least I feel like I’m actually on a track I chose, not just stuck in the pits.
