Alright, let’s talk about something that comes up every single year for me: picking a fantasy hockey team name. It seems like a small thing, but honestly, I put a weird amount of thought into it. It’s gotta feel right, you know?
So, the league invite came through, and the first thing I did, even before looking at draft rankings, was open up a blank note on my computer. Team name brainstorming time. My first instinct, like always, is to go for the puns. Player puns are the low-hanging fruit. I started listing some obvious ones based on who might go early. You got your McDavids, your Matthewses, your Crosbys. I scribbled down things like “Can’t Touch This McDavid” or “Matthews Magic”. Some goalie ones too, maybe “Vasilevskiy’s Victory Vault”. But honestly, most of these felt… stale. Like I’d seen them a hundred times before in other leagues.
I needed to dig deeper. I started thinking about hockey itself. The slang, the plays, the gear. What about something like “Puck Hog Posse”? Or maybe “Top Shelf Titans”? Felt a bit generic, maybe too serious for my liking. I usually prefer something a bit goofy, makes the trash talk in the league chat more fun.
Then I thought about my own habits as a fantasy manager. I tend to overthink trades, always tinkering. Maybe “The Perpetual Tinkerer”? Nah, too self-deprecating. What about referencing past glories or failures? “Last Year’s Runner-Up Revenge”? Too wordy.
I actually spent a good chunk of time just looking at my favorite NHL team’s roster. Any good nicknames? Any inside jokes only fans would get? Sometimes that yields gold. I tried combining player names with movie titles or song lyrics. That’s always a popular route. I came up with “Zibanejad and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat” – okay, maybe getting a bit weird now. “Pasta La Vista, Baby”? Definitely been done.
My Go-To Name Categories
- Player Puns: The classic, but gotta be fresh.
- Hockey Terms Twisted: Like “Sin Bin Saints” or something.
- Pop Culture Mix: Movies, TV, music meets hockey.
- Self-Referential/League Jokes: Funny if you know the history.
- Just Plain Weird: Sometimes the random ones are best.
I started just throwing words together. Hockey words, funny words, random adjectives. “Gritty Grinders”, “Dangle Dynasty”, “Frozen Biscuit Bandits”. Some sounded okay, but none jumped out. It’s funny how you can stare at a list and nothing clicks.
At one point, I almost just gave up and went with something super simple like “Team [My Last Name]”. But where’s the fun in that? The name is part of the game, part of the personality of your team for the next six months.
So, I took a break. Came back later. Looked at the players I was actually likely to draft, not just the superstars. Found a mid-tier guy I liked, thought about his name. Played around with it. Combined it with a stupid internet meme I saw recently. Said it out loud. It sounded kinda dumb. Perfect.
That’s usually how it ends up. Not some masterstroke of comedic genius, but something slightly silly, maybe a bit obscure, that makes me laugh. It’s based on a player I hope to get, mixed with something completely unrelated. That’s my process. A bit messy, a bit random, but I get there eventually. Now, onto the actual draft prep…
